


the soft violet sky

by Ford_Ye_Fiji



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: ALL OF THESE TAGS ARE MY FAVORITE, Angst, Basically a coda, Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, Caleb Widogast Has Issues, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Caleb Widogast is Loved and Treasured, Caleb Widogast is a Mess, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, It’s Caleb when isn’t there angst??, JUST LIKE HE DESERVES, LOOK AT ALL OF THEM AJAKAKAKSKS, STFU AND STFD CALEB YES YOU DO, Sad Caleb Widogast, Self-Loathing Caleb Widogast, set sometime after episode 55 but before 56
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:35:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji
Summary: Jester finds Caleb in need of cheering up
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 15
Kudos: 122





	the soft violet sky

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don’t know how I got here folks, I don’t usually write romance but this happened. It was just gonna be angst and then it got fluffy??? And then there was just romance????? And??? I’m confused? But here’s some surprise Widojest I guess XD

Jester bit her lip, studying her watch partner warily.

Caleb had been disturbingly silent since the rest of the Nein had bedded down for the night. He stared off into the middle distance outside the dome, bloodied and bruised and beaten, fingers picking at the scars on his arms.

Jester scooted closer, comforted by the exhausted snoring of her friends behind her, "Hey Cayleb."

Caleb looked up, almost startled. It took him a moment to react, his eyes softening as his lips quirked up into a very tired smile. It almost hurt her to look at, his effort to appear cheerful only resulting in a strained sad sort of expression, "Ah, yes, Jester?"

Jester licked her lips, "Are... are you  _okay_ , Caleb? You’ve been awfully quiet."

He seemed confused, "I... I am always quiet."

She raised an eyebrow with a huff, "You  know what I _mean_ , Caleb. Are you okay after today? After... everything?"

His eyes darkened, that bright wonderful shade of blue clouding over as his mind drifted back to the early morning and the demons they had confronted beneath the well, "Oh."

He was silent for a very long moment before running a hand through his messy red hair, "I... I am fine." He smiled at her, strained and tight and empty behind the eyes, "I am alright."

Jester frowned, leaning forward, "Don't bullshit me, Caleb. I am not stupid."

He almost recoiled, voice lowering, "Fine. I am _not_ fine. It doesn’t matter. We have bigger things to take care of. My- my problems will not get in the way of this group's goals. I won’t let them."

Jester placed a hand over his, worried now, "I am not worried about that, Caleb. I am worried about  _you_. You told us all this terrible stuff that you had went through and- and just a few hours ago you were charmed, and made do something horrible. That is a big deal, Caleb."

Caleb ran his hand over his face, voice breaking, "That is only a little part of the problem. Yes, I have had- had  _nightmares_ about doing to you, to Nott, to the group what I just did today. But that- that is only part of it."

Jester leaned forward searching his face and finding only brokenness staring back at her, "What is wrong then, Caleb? I’m here to listen. We are all here for you."

Caleb stared at her with red rimmed eyes, "I appreciate you so much, Jester, you know that? I just... I am afraid. I am a... a coward."

Jester waited, keeping silent against her knee jerk reaction to contradict him.

He breathed deep, stealing himself for what he said next, "I- I didn’t  feel charmed. I felt... I felt like myself. You understand? I felt... I felt like Bren."

He wouldn’t look at her, his hand picking absently at the frayed ends of his battered coat, "It was almost like I had reverted to Bren. Back to that stupid blind loyalty and reckless ambition and terrible ruthlessness. It was just as if all that had happened, all that I went through, was... lost."

His eyes flicked up to hers, "You would not like Bren, you know. He was stupid and foolish and- and terrible. He hurt so many people-  _I_ hurt so many people. Bren was-  _is_ a monster. That was what you saw today. You saw me.“

Jester pursed her lips, watching him spill this terrible secret to her. She sighed, and took his hand and began, "Caleb."

She stopped, watching him stare resolutely at the floor. She sighed again and reached out and gently tilted his chin, voice dipping into a sing-song, "Caaayyyleb, look at me pleaaase."

Caleb looked up, his blue eyes peering up under red lashes to meet her purple, "Caleb. Do you know what I see?"

His brows furrowed and  why did he have to look so  sad all the time, "I see  _you_."

He only looked confused as she continued, "I see Caleb Widogast, a man who very much loves books and magic and cats. He is very stinky and very dirty but we all love him anyways. He doesn’t think much of himself at all, you know? He doesn’t think much because he’s made a few mistakes. But he’s trying to better himself, he  _has_ bettered himself, and he’s trying to fix those mistakes to the best of his ability."

Caleb opened his mouth but Jester shushed him, a blue finger to his lips, "I am not done yet, Caleb, shush! It is very rude to interrupt a lady while she is talking." 

He sighed and closed his mouth, waiting, brows still furrowed and his expression unreadable, "I also think I know a little of Bren. I think Bren was a very smart boy who read a lot and who liked cats just as much as Caleb. I think Bren studied magic and stuck his hands in loaves of bread to warm them even though it’s weird, but you know- we're all a little weird." She took note of the red flush at Caleb's ears, but continued talking, “I think he loved his parents a lot. And I think a very bad man took advantage of him and twisted him for his own use. And I think that very bad man killed him many years ago."

Jester didn’t know where she was going with this, but that was a pattern with her and she found that going where she was led was always the best plan, "But I think out of the ashes of Bren came Caleb. And we all love Caleb very much. And Caleb is a good man, or at least, he is trying to be- and that is what matters. Caleb puts flowers in a goblin's hair and sacrifices his cat for a silly tiefling who wants to free some random mangy beast from kobolds. Caleb is _good_. And that demon is not what you are, Caleb, do you understand?"

Caleb swallowed before speaking carefully, voice breaking, "I think your opinion of me is _too high,_ Jester-“

Jester hummed softly, interrupting him gently, "Maybe it is. You can be very rude sometimes, Caleb."

His cheeks flushed, "That still doesn’t- the succubus-“

"Used magic on you! Against your will. You don’t think Yasha secretly wanted to stab you in the gut like three times, do you?"

"No, but-“

"Well I don’t see why it’s such a big problem!" She tapped his nose gently, "You are no different than Yasha."

Caleb opened his mouth to protest, but stopped and then sighed, "I... I don’t know."

Jester smiled brightly, triumphant, "That is waaaay better than blaming yourself for our whole stupid mess and stuff! Just... promise me that you will try to think better of yourself? Just try, for me?"

She clasped his hand and held it to her, blinking her eyes up at him innocently.

Caleb was redder than usual, really why did _everything_ embarrass him so much? 

His back slumped, eyes softening as his lips tilted upwards at the ends, "I... I'll try." Caleb's voice was as soft as his eyes, and impossibly fond as he looked at her, lips gently curving into an almost wondrous smile, "For you, Jester. I’ll try."

What was this? Why were her cheeks heating up?

Jester dropped his hand, grinning too wide, "Good, yes! Do that Caleb! We are all super duper worried about you!"

Caleb eyed her carefully, but whatever he saw there seemed to satisfy him. He smiled tentatively, gently placing his hand over hers, " _Thank you_ Jester."

He turned his gaze away, staring back at the wall, less twisted up this time and more, she found, relaxed. Which was good, that was what she had wanted.

But now there was a feeling in the pit of her stomach, it stayed there and flip-flopped disconcertingly. Jester turned her head away, face burning. She pressed her free hand to her cheek and felt her palm go warm. She had no doubt that her cheeks were tinged purple with what was undoubtedly a blush.

But it was just Caleb! What- there hadn’t- she didn’t-

Jester looked back at him.

He was petting Frumpkin softly now. There was that familiar smattering of freckles on his pale skin, ones that she had given up on counting long ago. There was his dirty orange hair, half illuminated and almost shining yellow-orange-red from the glow of their small makeshift campfire, making him seem not quite real. His cornflower blue eyes reflected the flames back, almost like stars. The same wonderfully fond expression she’d managed to give to him still tugged at his lips. He was just regular Caleb, but somehow something had changed in the past few weeks or months. She didn’t know what it was. He’d always been rather handsome under all that dirt...

Her flush deepened.

But Caleb wasn’t a rugged dashing hero like all the characters she’d read in her books, like Oskar, like Fjord. No, he was very different. He was bright and clever and  _beautiful_.

She needed to stop looking at him.

Jester tore her eyes away from him and stared downwards instead, her gaze finding their intertwined fingers, his hand soft and warm over hers. Her eyes widened with realization, heart thumping wildly and the butterflies in her stomach fluttering.

She was in  _so much_ trouble. 

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is here: https://ford-ye-fiji.tumblr.com/


End file.
